I Enjoy My Quiet Times

Last week my Mom was here visiting and working with me. It was an enjoyable visit and nice to have her here.

After she left, I needed quiet time. I realize how much I enjoy being alone. I find that I truly enjoy being home and having quiet space. I need it and I thrive in it. While I enjoy seeing friends and visiting for an hour or so, after a week of constant visiting - it wears me out and I want my quiet time again.

Also during the past couple of weeks I have watched one of my older customers, Norma starve herself and has ended up in the hospital. I fear the end is not to far off in the distance. This is my customer who didn't have any children and I feel some responsibility to help out as I can. I purchased groceries, cooked dinners to take to her, visited with her. She has one sister, Carol who does care for her the best she can. Carol never married or had children either. These are two older women who need someone to help them. They are not religious and have no support system besides me. While I don't mind helping ..... it does wear me down a bit.

Carol loves to talk on the phone. She has been calling me everyday because she is scared for her sister. She talks and talks and talks on the phone. I do not enjoy talking on the phone for hours. I listen and give encouragement and support ... but wish that it was a 10 minute telephone call instead of an hour telephone call - everyday.

While this may seem very selfish to some people, for me it is taking up my precious time to do the things I need to get done each day. I work hard everyday and when I get home I want to be here for my children - not on the phone chatting. I have always cherished my home time to be a mother in the few short hours between home from work and bed time. There just isn't enough hours in a day to be focused on my children for me. When I have always worked away from the home and worked in a church calling and have been away from the most precious thing in my life (my family) - I hate interruptions from my time at being home with my children. I don't like to talk on the phone or be out with friends because the time I have with my children is NOT enough.

When people are constantly talking and talking to me, I don't have time to think. I really do need my quiet time. I like to read, listen to music, scan the Internet or write a blog. I can't do any of these things if people are talking to me.

Lately I've had many customers who want to talk to me while I work. I don't like that either. While I love my customers and enjoy a quick chat, it is starting to wear on me that they follow me around and talk and talk to me while I work. It's hard because I want to hurry and get the job done and get home. But, when they talk to me - my day is longer and I am home much later.

When I talk to people, I try to be encouraging and supportive. I try to lift them up. I know people like me and I can make friends easily. The problem is.... I enjoy my quiet time. When I make friends - they want to take over "my time" and I become resentful. I don't want to talk on the phone everyday for hours. I don't need to go out to lunch or visit for hours. I have things to do in the short hours I am not working.

My brain hurts from no quiet time. I find that I like it more and more as I get older. I know I could never be married again - as I thrive on being alone and having my own quiet time. I'm getting older and set in my ways of having my own time.

Now, I'm off to think and have quiet time. After a week of visits - I definitely need my "me" time. Maybe I'll blog a little, read a few blogs and listen to quiet beautiful music... Aaaaahhh QUIET! :-D