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Monday, April 27, 2015

Being a Single Mom

I was a single mom at age 22.

I was independent, had a good job and there was no way that I was going to give up my baby.

I always wanted to be a mother and was excited for the arrival of my baby.

I loved Jason so much! We had a lot of fun just the 2 of us. I loved him to the moon and back and would give anything to bring him joy in his life. 

I was so blessed being a single mom. There was never a time we didn't have food on the table, or that I was on the verge of becoming homeless. We were safe and had the things we needed.

Of course I struggled financially, but we always made it. 

Jason's dad was not in the picture and I didn't make him provide child support. Biggest mistake I ever did was struggle financially when he was off living his life without a care in the world.

I felt guilty that I got pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion and walked away. There was no way I was terminating this pregnancy or giving up my child. Because of this, I let him walk away and didn't burden him anyway financially. 

My advice to any woman who get pregnant, NEVER let them walk away without making them pay child support. NEVER! It's not fair to let them walk away because this child was made by both of you.  
 Jason just turn 10 years old when I had Brady and I was 32. I was newly married and it was a struggle to be everything to everyone. 

I went back to work 2 weeks after having Brady because I just started a new job after my previous job shut down their offices in Salt Lake City.

I was exhausted, but did my best to be a good mom and a wife.

It was harder then being a single mom to just Jason. There was a lot of pressure.
 My children were everything to me. I loved being a mom and wished that I could have been a full time mom and not worked. But not many people have that option, and I didn't - we needed my income to survive. 
My marriage was extremely hard and I became separated when Brady was 3 and divorced when he was 3 1/2. 

Again I was a single mom. 

But this time I made sure I received child support. It wasn't much, only $217 a month for the next 15 years. 

I don't know why I always felt guilty for asking for support from either of their fathers. Why I had to make it on my own. Although it was great of Brady's father to always pay his child support each  month ... he walked away financially when Brady turned 18. 

I love my children unconditionally. There is not a thing they could ever do that would make me cease to love them. They are the most wonderful people I know. Both are loving, honorable, smart and good men and it's been such a privilege to be their mother. 

I've lived a blessed life. Not a fairy tale, not the life of my dreams. But I haven't wanted for anything and was able to provide and give them a good home and good childhood. 

I often wonder why I was so lucky that we had the things we needed. We were never without a home, food, clothing or safety. I always worked hard to take care of my children and we did it.

They are both grown men now and I couldn't be prouder of who they are and what great people they are. 

It's easy to think about all the things I didn't have and how my dreams didn't come true. But, I refuse to get sucked into those depressing thoughts. 

I am grateful for my life! I am grateful I had been blessed with 2 wonderful sons. I am grateful for my ability to work and provide for them. I am grateful that I was able to purchase a home. I believe I am happy and have a happy life because I focus on all the good things life has brought me.

None of us live a perfect life. I don't believe any of us have every dream come true. 

The way to be happy is to focus on the good things in life - our blessings. 

When we have gratitude, we have happiness. 

When we grumble and complain about all the wrongs and how we had a tough life, that's when depression sets in and we live an unhappy life.

I choose to be happy and have a joyful life. I choose to count all the blessings I've had.
I believe this is why I have a great life .... it's because I know how blessed I've been. 

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