Joys of Facebook By Brady (Actually I copied it off of his Tumblr account / a blog - it needs to be in my blog journal - LOL)
Prologue,
Today I make my tumblr account. Well first off, a lot of people think I should blog. Apparently the mind of Brady is interesting, makes you giggle, that is, if you can decipher what the heck I’m saying.
Anyway, the reason why I am deciding to make a tumblr is I want an outlet. Facebook isn’t cutting it. Well, It would have sufficed probably if I didn’t get locked out. STORY TIME!
Once upon a time,
There was a boy who never had a smart phone. His family was frugal, and the phone he had was prepaid, being used only for emergencies. Then one day, his mom came up to him and said, “There is a really good deal for this Droid smart phone! You need to take a look at it.”
The boy was playing on the computer, lost in his own world. He glanced at it, but decided that his game was more important then trying to read techy jargon from a newspaper ad. As the boy played, magical forces were at work that would change his social interaction with the world.
A few days later, the mother had gotten him the smart phone. After setting it up, and adding $50.00 to the phone credit, the mother told him that he should explore this new device. As he did, he found out that a 17 year old with a 10 Cent Premium plan wasn’t going to work. Finding that he had spent more money in a relative month then being on a plan, they switched him to a plan where he gets unlimited texting. A concept that was familiar to him, but never experienced.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Remember how I said that magical forces were going to change his social interaction with the world? Well, this wasn’t just in a positive way. The phone also had Internet, and with Internet, mobile Facebook. Advancement into the mobile-digital world was still being explored.
Entering Facebook, he entered his e-mail and password. Then a security system came crashing in from Facebook. The message said that the device accessing the boys account was foreign, and security questions were required before Facebook would allow the boy to access his Facebook account. The security questions asked him for the last 5 digits of his license. The boys license wasn’t readily available, so he put his phone away, thinking he would do it some other time.
The boy then later accessed his Facebook account on his home computer. After accessing his account, Facebook security was in action again. A message had told him that a foreign device was accessing his Facebook account, and asked if he recognized it. “Yes! I do know what that is.” The boy said in his head, then read more of the message. It continued to read that the device location was coming from Southern California. “Umm… Change my mind.” As the boy clicked No, when he should have clicked Yes, a decision that he would soon regret.
By clicking “Yes,” Facebook security asked the boy to change his password. “Okay, fine…” the boy thought in his mind. He thought hard, and after a short while, he typed in a new password. After he had accepted the new password, he had already thought to himself that he was going to forget it. “But that’s okay isn’t it?” He thought. “If I forget my password, I can always just ask Facebook to send it to my e-mail.” This was true of course. So, unaware of the trap magical forces had set for him, he proceeded blindly onward.
Well, it turns out that the boy was right, he had forgotten his password. “Well this is annoying,” he thought, but just asked Facebook to send the password to his e-mail. You see, the boy had two e-mail accounts. A junk one that he gave away to those weird forms that you have to fill out, in which you would get lots of spam from businesses, and then a personal one. He never checked his spam e-mail, which was the very e-mail that his Facebook was linked to, being at the time when he signed up for Facebook, the only e-mail he had, but never decided to change it since Facebook can gunck up your inbox as well.
Logging in to his e-mail, a strange and unusual thing occurred, that had never happened before. He was redirected to a website that was Live e-mail, asking him to re-register for a Live account. You see, his previous e-mail was at Qwest, and had earlier been bought by a company named Live, which had deleted all Qwest e-mail accounts.
“Well that sucks!” said the boy. Facebook was now sending his password to a non-existent e-mail account. “Just my luck…” The people in charge of the Magic Forces Council were laughing and scoffing at him. They had deviously created a loophole in which a regular, unsuspecting dope would lock himself out of his Facebook account.
Going back over to Facebook, he needed 3 friends to help him recover his account. It gave him 3 different lists to choose from, limiting the people he could ask assistance from. The first list available had his 3 best friends, but since he could only choose 1 person per list, he chose his best friend in the whole wide world, Danielle. Going onto list 2, he found that his Mother’s Facebook
Great, now he had to get codes back from them in order to reset his password. First off was his Mothers account, easy to access from where he was. Next he had to talk to his best friend. She laughed and agreed to let him back into his Facebook account. So close, yet so far. Those magical forces weren’t having it. They were very stubborn about him being locked out of his Facebook account. As the boy called up his last friend, the friend explained to him that he had just come back from a trip with his family, and that when he returned back to his house, his modem was shot, fried, making the whole house Internet-less.
There was still hope though, the boy’s phone had Internet right? He was going to see his church friend the next day at Mutual (Mormon youth gathering in which they do various activities, occurs on a Wednesday.) After the activity, the boy let Nate use his phone to get into his e-mail account. It was very problematic though, the keyboard was a touch screen, and was very hard to type on. That and the email hooked to Nate’s Facebook account was given to him by his older brother, and he wasn’t 100% sure how to spell the password.
In frustration, he invited Nate over to his house. There at his computer, he let Nate log into his e-mail account. When he got in, e-mail security was in action. It told Nate that a foreign object was trying to access his e-mail account that his he would need to change his password. “WRIGHT IT DOWN!” the boy cried out when Nate explained what the mischievous smart phone had done.
“No, I think I should be able to remember this,” Nate said as he entered in the new password. Then accessing his Facebook account, gave the boy the codes he needed to reset his password, then left his humble abode.
Getting right onto Facebook, the boy entered the codes that would allow him to reset his password. After the codes went through, it took him to a page where he was to type in his new password. “It works!” They boy said, so close to victory. After typing in the new password, and clicking next, he was taken to a new screen.
“JOKE!” Facebook security trolled in his face. “You didn’t enter the codes within a specific time frame, so we’re not going to let you reset your password.”
Frustrated, the boy was going to make a second attempt at recovering his Facebook. He texted his best friend the situation, then on the third list of people, he wasn’t going to choose Nate again because he didn’t have Internet. “Okay lets see lets see…” he thought as his closely examined the names. “Ah hah! Edwardo!” Edwardo was another church friend, and the boy happened to have his phone number! Success! Calling up Edwardo, a bit late at night, he agreed that he would text him the codes before he went to bed. Edwardo was a gamer, so he was probably going to stay up till 2 a.m playing video games, so the best thing to do was to get a good night sleep.
The next morning, the boy checked his phone. Edwardo had delivered! Excited, he ran over to his computer to enter the codes. “JOKE!” Facebook’s security trolled in his face… again. One or more of these codes are wrong. Exhausted, thinking his problem would be over by now, he decided to check his mom’s Facebook account, seeing if he messed up with hers first before contacting the others. Looking at the code that she received, and comparing it to what he had written down, the code was COMPLETELY different. Typing this new code that the boy was originally supposed to receive, Facebook still continued to troll in his face. During last night, all the codes had been reset, and he would have to get them all again.
Texting his friends, he received new codes, that were completely different then they had originally given him. Going back to Facebook, he typed in all three new codes. The codes worked, and brought him to the password reset area. Now kids, I wouldn’t get your hopes up because like I said before this story, I can’t get into my Facebook account. Back to the story.
“JOKE!” Facebook trolled in the boys face for the third time. “Tee hee, you still didn’t meet the time frame!” and then it blew a raspberry in his face. Imagine that face popping out of the book in the first Harry Potter, when Harry was in the Restricted Section, and the picture that face coming out of my computer monitor, and then you have an idea how Facebook is acting. In the meantime, the Magic Forces Council was laughing at him hardcore. Later research was done to show that it was a sold out show, and a popcorn’s best seller show to see a little boy suffer.
The boy hated asking a third time for Edwardo to let him back into his Facebook account since he didn’t feel like he had that social establishment built with him. A third time would have felt a little naggy he thought, so he waited until Nate got his Internet access back.
Third time’s a charm right? Wrong! Hopefully you’re seeing the pattern here. The next time he asked, he got his Mom’s code and Nate’s code, yeah, he got his Internet back by this time. Last was Danielle’s code, but she didn’t want to answer her phone. Turns out that she was doing something with her family and didn’t have her phone on her the whole day. The next day, the boy was hanging out with his friends at a corn maze, which included Danielle. Afterwards they were going to watch Vampire Diaries and Danielle’s house. The boy was thinking that the time frame that Facebook kept trolling about was 24 hours. He was just beating the clock when at Danielle’s house. He was about 23 hours from sending the codes. After getting the code from Danielle, he talked his mom through the process on the phone (as he was not a home) how to reset the password. He told her the new password to type in. Then his mom got trolled at by Facebook, telling her that they had yet to meet the time frame, and that the password reset had expired.
“I GIVE UP!” the boy cried out in an all caps rage. The Magical Forces Council cheered. The boy was officially in a hate relationship with Facebook. It would be a long time before his next attempt.
Sometime during the next month, it being November, the boy was ready to forgive Facebook and get back into his account. He was smarter this time and had pre-texted his friends that he was about to send them recovery codes. The were both ready for them, allowing them to get him the codes within minutes However, the magical forces that were at work long ago were still in effect. This time, when the boy tried, Facebook gave him a message saying, “Sucks you can’t get into your e-mail bro, unfortunately, I can’t verify that you are Brady. So sorry, sucks to be you,” which had meant that he couldn’t even use 3 of his friends to get him back into his account.
The boy had only one option left, being forced to create a new Facebook account, then send out a message explaining to the whole social world that he was a failure at life. Though, before he did, he needed an outlet.
“Tumblr…” the boy pondered. “This is going to be fun!” And bing badda boom! The Fruits of Time was born.
Epilogue,
I have yet to make a new Facebook account. Sad thing is that I also had a choir Facebook group which I was the only admin, and now I have to make them sign up for a new group and leave the old one. So not only am I going to have to tell all my Facebook friends how stupid I am, but everyone in choir as well.
Nate is also now locked out of that e-mail account. And the magical forces get another victim! Oh well, happens to the best of us I guess.
