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Sunday, October 27, 2013

Brady Coming Out

At the end of Brady's school year at BYU, he finally came out as a gay man to me. That is why is has decided not to return to BYU and transferred to UofU. 

This wasn't an easy thing for him. He had been meeting with members of the bishopric, fasting, praying, reading his scriptures and doing everything he could to make this go away. But, as we all know - it isn't something that CAN go away. It was really hard for Brady to acknowledge and come out to the world as a gay man. 

I love Brady no matter what. It doesn't change my feelings toward him in the least. The hardest part for me was to change the dreams of my future. I have had to acknowledge that I won't be a grandmother and so that changes my future completely. Now I've had to look at my life and make a bucket list for the future.

I've had many family members tell me their judgement on my dear son and it sickens me. But, in the long run - I don't need their guilt or judgement. I can walk away - because I will NOT allow that kind of feeling or judgement in my life. I choose happiness and love. 

Brady is still a son of our Heavenly Father and he should be treated with love - no matter what your feelings are. I also have to say that I am ashamed from the attitudes I'm finding from LDS people about gay individuals. I can't believe how hateful they are and I'm ashamed of them and their judgments. 

The other thing that sickens me about parents who have children come out as gay, is that a lot of them kick their children out of the house, disown them or try to make them change or make them feel less then human. I'm ashamed of all of them and they make me sick. I can't even imagine turning my back on Brady - EVER. Don't expect me to - because I won't. You can make any judgement about me or my son and I don't care one bit. 

I have turned off comments because I refuse to have people judge me or my son. If you choose to leave my site as a follower - not big deal. I just don't really care about such judgmental people. 

Being gay is not something you can catch. It's not a disease. It's not something you can change. It is biological. Don't judge!
Here is Brady's facebook post as he came out to his friends: 
I’m so frozen over and numb to pain that I don’t care who knows now. 

Dear friends and family, I am gay, not that it should be much of a shocker to anyone.

I’ve actually been out since May, and got a lot more comfortable with it when I moved up here to Salt Lake in August to start my own life. What I have not done is made it publically aware to people beyond the extent of my close friends and family at home- like coming out on Facebook. Well, I’m not even going to try and hide who I am forever, I’m not ashamed. I was in the most wonderful relationship with a man- it is now no more- but I was asked to grow, define, and discover myself a little more. So that is why I wanted to be honest with all of you, this is one my growing experiences. 

I originally didn’t want to do this because of all the LDS influences in my life and I didn’t know what they would think. As of now, I don’t even care if my own father were to know, who I am not currently out to. I had a lot of soul searching being once a Mormon. Here is what I have concluded; not all of us are meant to become celestial beings. We are here to find out who we are, and we will be given our kingdoms accordingly. We will be put in the place that will make us the happiest, and for me, I now shoot for the glory of the moon rather than the sun. I do not feel truly happy trying to strive towards celestial glory. There is a lot of myself I would have to deny, and I am not going to do that when I am here to discover myself. 

This is why I left Brigham Young University. I did not feel worthy, and I was tired of feeling like I would get kicked out of school if others found out my “dark side.” If I have told you that I chose the U because of the computer science program here, that was just a happy coincidence. That is why I chose to go to the U, but that is not why I left BYU. I equate leaving BYU to kicking myself out of heaven; it does not make me happy. 

So yes, when I didn’t want to go on a mission, that was the reason, I know it upset and disappointed a lot of people. I’m not going to try and please anyone by being a cookie cutter image of what is correct or right anymore. I am still strong, intelligent, and a nice person who will always try and chose what is right given any situation. Nothing much has changed about me except the fact that I’ve completely accepted myself, and I expect others to do the same from now on. 

Along with this, I don’t think I’ll be dating anyone for a long time. I’ve had bad experiences with the cup of love, and it’s too bitter for my taste. I think I’ll put it that chalice down for a while. [Guys are really stupid and frustrating; a curse all on its own from being gay, if I could chose to be straight I would, trust me.] I truly think that I am gay so that I can be closer to women, not men [Women are so much better]. This being that I can be complete friends with any girl, and there won’t be an awkward sexual boundary between us, allowing us to stay friends, while at the same time adding a male influence in their life, even though it may be a little more feminine than masculine.

 Anyway, I’m going through a hard time and would like the support of all my real friends to carry me through this hard week. You’re all wonderful people, and I hope that this will only strengthen our relationships instead of bring them down.


  • Andrew W Howden You're amazing Brady!
  • Kayla Marie Veronica Gaffney I know we haven't talked in years, but this takes a lot of strength of character. Major kudos to you, Brady Matthews.
  • Rhonda Murray We love you Brady and support you. Always have and always will. We also are always here for you. We are extremely proud of you.
  • Sara Creevy I'm proud of you Brady.
  • Sondra Murray I love you and am proud of you. You are such a wonderful person and will do great things in your life. It will be full of happiness. Just live the life that makes you happy. Always know that you are loved and are never alone - because your family loves you and will always be here for you to support you and cheer you on. Don't ever worry about your dad - it is not worth it. The people who will love you and accept you are only the ones who matter in the long run.
  • Jennifer Epley I know we haven't talked in years, but I remember a time when we were best friends as kids. I support you completely. Never let anyone make you feel you are lesser for being gay. I know your family is insane religious, but if that's not what makes you happy, then don't be pressured into something you are not. Be you. Do you. Because only you knows what's best for you.
  • Britnae Tregellas Brady, you are a fantastic person, one of the best that I know. I am so proud of you, as this is something that takes quite a bit of courage. Things might be difficult right now, but know that we all have your back 
  • Emily Griffin Brady, I am so proud of you for getting up the courage to do this publicly. I hate to repeat what jenn said, but I will. I know we haven't talked in years, and in middle school you truly were one of my best friends. I'm so sad that we lost touch. But I am so incredibly proud of you and ecstatic that you're finally happy with who you are  I support you 100% even though it's been a long time since we've talked, I know you're still the incredible person who was one of my best friends. I know that it can be really tough with your family when you're the different one. If you ever need to talk I'm always here for you. I'm so happy that you're living in salt lake and I really would love to go get lunch or something sometime. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Debra Smith All will be well. May you have peace.
  • Jeannie Park Brady, you are so brave. Love you. You are such a good friend to me. Actually, the first friend I found at BYU. Thanks for asking for my help in Calc. I could get through it because of my study buddy. I only hope that things will get better from now on. Don't hate yourself. Love yourself. Again, Love you!! I hope you think of me as your friend as well (:
  • Belinda Zoller Dude I always thought you were so cool from the small amount of time I got to know you in freshman year. Stay awesome.
  • Jessica Franson Brady, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and if someone doesn't understand that you are happy with who you are, you need not worry about them. I'm ecstatic for you and I hope you pass through these difficult times as soon as possible. (:
  • Zoey Murray Brady this is unbelievable courage for you. Grandma Love you so much. You know I'm always here for you. I'm very close you can come here anytime you want. I would love for you to come. Again I'm so proud of you and I believe as you do, You'll do great things I know. Love, Love , Love You Always  I know you'll always go the extra mile in life. You are such a gift to all of us. Keep smiling , Be Happy Brady, Remember You told God you could this and you will. & you'll never have to walk alone, with all the love this family and you true friends has for you.
  • Taylor Galusha This just made my night seeing this Brady. It's a new sense freedom you just embraced, and you will never regret it. You will find support in every direction you look.
  • Sharon Murray So proud! It takes a lot to do this. You will always, always have the support of Jason and myself.
  • Jason Gobel Murray So proud of you! I will love you forever!
  • Amber McFarland I don't know what I would do without you in my life  it is so incredible to be able to have a relationship with a guy and not have to deal with any sexual tension like you said... You provide that balance to my crazy girl hormones... I'm so proud of you for your outstanding confidence and I will always be here for you (Skype me whenever you feel like it :D)
  • Danielle Miller I love you Brady! You have always made me laugh and smile when I needed it most, and I just wish I could be there to do the same for you. You are such a light and a shining person. You are so uplifting, talented, and hilarious. You understood my jokes when no one else did, and I completed your Kingdom Hearts piano by singing a bad duet. Guys are stupid as a whole, and it really sucks when you have bad experiences with a few in a row. That doesn't reflect on you as a person, though. Hold on to school, your friends, life, and God, and hopefully they'll hold on to you as well. I love you.
  • Nicole E Smith I loved reading this! It was awe inspiring and refreshing. I'm glad you are comfortable enough to open up like this. That is true strength and courage! You are a wonderful person and the coming days will be difficult as life always is but you are better prepared for the future by excepting all of yourself. I love you and am honored to know such an incredible person!
  • Sarah Cunha Brady, you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. Keep your chin up.  Love and miss you. 
  • Alyssa Leonard Brady, you are literally one of the best people i've ever had the pleasure to know. I so admire you for having the courage to be true to yourself. You have so many people who love and appreciate you for everything you are. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And remember..."Plants have sex too." 
  • Hunter Flint Brady I didn't know you for long but I knew you long enough to know you are a great human being. You are going to heaven everyone is. Good Luck you have a tough road ahead of you!!!!
  • KyLynn Jorgensen I'm proud that u had the courage to do that. Growing up lds is a challenge especially some point or another realizing ur not or don't want to fit the mold. I wish u good luck as I know it's not an easy road I have a family member who also came out. I've seen our strong lds family being not as supportive as they could be. Maybe it's the struggle of believing the gospel not being able to support the action and slow to acceptance that everyone has agency and their own purpose on earth. I always enjoyed having u around. You lit up the room with ur comedy and were always a good friend.  I hope u get the happiness u deserve that ur longing for.
  • Taylor Sanchez Brady, i adore you, and care about you so much! You were by far one of my favoritest people i've ever got to work with it, and i enjoyed every minute of it. With you coming out my feelings have not change about you, infact i adore you even more now! You a wonderful human being, and i am gald to be apart of your life.

Brady posted on October 30th: I'd like to thank you all for the love and support I have received these past few days. I really appreciate each and every single one of you. You're all wonderful and beautiful people. — feeling better.

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