Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Brady's New Apartment
Now that Brady is making a life change and going to finish school at University of Utah, he will be moving to Salt Lake City, Utah permanently. Well, at least until he finishes college and finds his dream job.
I told him I couldn't afford to keep moving him back and forth each summer and then back for school. He needed to find a permanent place to live and a job. He will be working and putting himself through school. It will be hard for the next 3 years, but he can do it as so many people do.
Last year Brady ended up in a "roommate from hell" situation and it turned out really bad. I decided that it was better if he just had his own 1 bedroom apartment and I would help out with rent if needed.
Rent is crazy expensive in Salt Lake City, well.... probably everywhere. His rent for a 1 bedroom 424 square feet is the same as my house payment. Yikes, but it is the right thing to do to be emotionally healthy and happy.
However, getting an apartment lease was a little more then I expected. WOW! I don't know how kids get started out anymore. Brady couldn't get the lease on his own because he doesn't have credit and even though he had a job here during the summer, he doesn't have one in Utah yet.
They wouldn't let me co-sign with Brady because I am self employed. My credit score is great and I always pay my obligations on time, but I couldn't show my income because I don't keep a lot in my checking account. The reason I don't is because I follow the "Dave Ramsey cash envelope program". Well, that bit me in the butt. I was mortified that at age 51 I couldn't even co-sign for Brady's apartment.
The only option we had was to ask Brady's father to co-sign with him, because he has an actual job.
I was stunned and angry when he said he wouldn't do it. I couldn't believe it. What a jerk!! I was sick, I cried and just didn't know how to help Brady out. I really, really didn't want him to be in a roommate situation again. I wanted something that he could live in long term and that was stable. It's a really nice complex.
I thought and thought about what I could do. Finally I decided to ask Jason's dad, Lawrence if he would co-sign.
What do you know.... Lawrence said yes ... no problem.
Yet, his own father wouldn't help him out (shaking head - what a jerk).
Thank you Lawrence.!!!!!!
I'll tell you what, getting a lease for an apartment is as intense as actually purchasing a home. The credit checks, proof of income AND criminal background checks. It was a LOT of paperwork.
We thought everything was complete and they told Brady that he had the apartment and he paid his deposit. Yea, he had an apartment and I had a sense of relief that this painful process was over. Everything Brady signed had to be emailed to Lawrence and then he printed it out, signed it, then scanned in and emailed it back. It was hard because Lawrence works for United Airlines and flies all over the US all the time. It's hard to catch him at home.
But it wasn't over yet. The original move in date / available date for the apartment was August 13th. Well, the previous tenant moved out early so they changed the contract with Brady to July 31st as the new move in date and wouldn't hold it until the prevously agreed upon move in date of August 13th.
So that meant that we had to start the WHOLE contract / signing process again. They couldn't make a note and have them initial it, we had to start all over.
I was furious, because I was already imposing on Lawrence. But, we didn't have a leg to stand on because there was a "clause" in the contract allowing them to do it.
Then I found out that all the paperwork previously signed and submitted was NOT the actual lease. Brady was suppose to sign that when he showed up to move in. Not only that, they expected that Lawrence would be with him to sign the lease. That wouldn't have happened because Lawrence lives in California and we live in Idaho. They had all this information, but had no common sense to understand what a co-signer is. I hate working with young kids who have no life experience or common sense.
It turned out as a blessing that they changed the date. Because if we showed up on August 13th to move in they wouldn't have let us until we tracked down Lawrence and had him sign the lease too. While working with them to sign all the documents AGAIN, I asked them to send the actual lease. They were hesitant to do it until all the paperwork was received. I told them that I just wanted to bother Lawrence one more time to get signatures. Not only signatures and initialing the lease, but he had to have it notarized. The lease is 25 pages to print out, sign, initial, notarize, scan back in and email back so Brady could sign it.
What a big deal it was to get the apartment.
Unfortunately, Lawrence missed a few initials on the contract, so it was emailed back to him and he had to print it out again and fix it. He said, "Is there anyway to fax it back instead of scanning each page in and emailing it?" Yes, there was and it was done.
Lawrence was a trouper through this whole process in helping Brady out. He is my hero. And, just to ease all you "Dave Ramsey" fans out there that know he preaches not to co-sign .... there just wasn't any other way.
I always pay my bills on time and I can pay his rent. I would do it even if I had to work 3 jobs. Brady will never be a day late on rent. There isn't a risk to Lawrence. Brady will work 3 jobs too if it came to that, or Jason and Sharon will help. We are family and we support each other.
Wellllllllll.... except for that jerk of a father - Maurice. Needless to say I don't have any good will feelings for him and he has completely damaged any kindness in the future I will have with him again. Now, I absolutely know that I can't rely on him to father his son - now that he is over 18. He's fulfilled his obligations and walked away... Well, the door swings both ways and I feel he has damaged his relationship with his son. It is completely gone, any kindness I had toward him is gone and done. I will never speak to him again or ask him for anything. He has really hurt me through this decision to walk away from helping out his son. (Plus, you can't even imagine what it took me to actually ask him to do it - it was soooo hard that Brady and I were shot down.)
I took it really hard that Brady's dad wouldn't help. I was on my own again as a single mom with no support from a father. I have always held my little family together on my own. I've done my best to raise and support them. It's such a lonely feeling not to have any support from someone who willingly fathered this child. I cried a lot. Sometimes life just gets too heavy to stand on your own. I hope my boys will never be so cruel hearted as Maurice has been in this situation.
Sometimes, I wonder how I can heal my heart to trust or lean on a man when I continually am hurt by them. At least Lawrence is my hero. Words can't even say how much gratitude I have that he stepped in and helped Jason's brother and me through this process.