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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Post by Brady about New Facebook Account

Hope for Humanity

Prologue,

So yesterday I decided to make my Facebook account. I’ve been putting it off, but with one whole week off of school, I found myself ending up having to do it. STORY TIME!

Once upon a time,
There was a boy who was locked out of his Facebook account. A few weeks earlier he went to a harvest dance. His mom who liked to blog had been pestering him for days on end, pestering him to buck up and get a new Facebook account so she could get the pictures from the dance off of his profile and blog about it. Really selfish reason actually, don’t you think? However, the boy was just unready to tell everyone he knew and the choir class that he was a failure at life. So he procrastinated… and procrastinated… and procrastinated.

Finally, one day after coming downstairs from his room, he looked upon the kitchen counter. There was a note. He knew what it meant. CHORES. Some days, when his mom went to work before the boy woke up, his mother would leave a little “to-do” list on the kitchen counter. It was simple stuff, just stuff you think every child should do. Though, since he was lazy, he had to have the pressure of a note to motivate him to get the job done.

Just as he predicted, at the top of the note was written stuff like, “Eat breakfast” (yes, he needed to be reminded to eat, otherwise he might have starved… and died) “Take a shower” (some lazy days he would forget, then the aroma of the surrounding area would smell… like… Ø_ø) “Empty the dishwasher and load it with dirty dishes” (not something he would have spontaneously done without a note) “Make Bed” (Nooo! You’re not sleeping in it and it’s upstairs where your not looking at it! …Ugh, fine.)

Okay, now at the bottom of the note, there was some good news. The boys mother had checked her Facebook account and was seeing if anyone had graffitied his wall, or left anything important. However, upon her search, she found that her son was no longer one of her friends. She then checked his cousin’s profile and saw that he wasn’t listed under her family list either. The whole account was deleted!

This was actually good news. (Facebook did something right for once! The relationship is getting better already :D) If he was to create a new account, he would have to message everyone, all 300+ people to add him to his new account, and unfriend him from his old account. It would get very tiresome. Now with this information, he didn’t have to take the time to message everyone a generic… boring… sad sad story. [In case you were wondering, all his old friends would have to unfriend the first account to prevent the mutual friend situation when other people looked for him.]
So, after eating and doing some chores, he started to play his life away on the computer (…and procrastinated), until the game decided to make an update requiring him to log off for a period of time while the system re-booted. So, he was now down to some quality time with him, and that evil troll Facebook.

All in all, when he finally had enough friends to write on his wall [step 3- find your Facebook friends] Here is what I published.


The first post I loved, but then the kid took it off before I was able to get a picture of it. Very sarcastically, he wrote, “how stupid I am” on my wall. He name was Cody and he is a red-head [you can see him later]
Then I got-

Ugliest face ever… but no wait, pretty accurate description of Facebook!

Emily is the girl I went to the dance with. See, her profile picture is even a picture of us in our matching shirts. Aww, I’m We’re adorable.

Apparently he missed the memo, or was just being really sarcastic. He was one of my church buddies and I bet I was talking about this issue right in front of his face. I’m going with he was being stupid missed the memo.

Yeah best friends! So happy to be *breaks out in song* TO-GE-E-THER. Oh, and if you’re wondering what the glomp is for. *Pulls out a CD* you might want to listen to her theme song.

Surprisingly, the friends kept rolling in! No one sent him hate mail or harassed him about it, even when the boy gave them special permission to! There is hope for humanity!

Only problem now was, that little stream of pictures was empty. With the old Facebook, all his pictures and albums and tags were gone with it. It was completely naked except for his profile picture. So the boy quickly visited fbanners.com to download something.


Worked out perfectly, he likes to game, Green is his favorite color, and he thinks it goes well with white or black.

Then Emily came on in the nick of time to save him from his photo crisis.

Then bam!


21 photos! Wewt! Now who wants to play blackjack?

By the end of day two, the boy was virtually back on track. Just look at how many sad people get on their Facebook daily. Though, since this shows how many people regularly check their Facebook, the president of his National Honor Society was right, “If you don’t have a Facebook, then you’re not part of the social norm.”

The boy was now at a clean slate. It being a little awkward to have under 200 friends, but more were to come when the not so sad people checked their Facebook, and the weird people who the boy never talked to should now be off.

So, now part of the social norm, the boy is no longer sad, and the world goes round.

Epilogue,
Oh hey, so this is a very slow post about what goes on in my life. I do not write one of these every day.

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