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Monday, October 10, 2011

Motivational Monday: Virtue

After Brady took Kara to the Homecoming dance, I have thought A LOT about virtue. My niece Zoey Michelle, commented how none of the girls had sleeves on their dresses. I knew this, but dismissed it because it was Kara, one of Brady's dear friends he has had for years. This wasn't a romantic date, only a friendship date. Because it was Kara, it didn't bother me that she wore the typical dress for a high school dance.

Now as I have pondered upon this, I'm quite taken back on my relaxed acceptance of "No Sleeves" for my valiant, Priesthood holder son. I really shouldn't be relaxed at all about it!
It gave me an opportunity to have a frank discussion with Brady about this. I asked him if he felt uncomfortable. I asked him if it bothered him and if he had impure thoughts. His response was that it was Kara - No, it didn't bother him. None of Brady's friends are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but all of them are great kids with high standards, which is why I never worried about Kara's dress code.

However, as I have pondered it, I feel like I didn't do the right thing. When Kara and Brady decided to go to the dance together, I should have made it clear that Kara needed to be respectful of Brady's standards and wear a modest dress with sleeves.

It is different when you only have son's because I don't have to worry about my son dressing immodestly. Brady and I agreed that he wouldn't go to another dance without making sure the girl wore a modest dress.

I feel a young woman is BEAUTIFUL when she is dressed modestly. Take my niece Autumn's dress below:
 She is a virtuous, modest and a beautiful young woman. I'm proud of her choices and the example she is for her standards. Way to go Autumn!
A great group of valiant young women and men!

While watching General Conference, I loved Sister Elaine Dalton's talk "Love her Mother".

It was a wonderful touching talk and you can listen to it here:
One of the paragraphs in her talk really spoke to me:

You must be the guardians of virtue. “A priesthood holder is virtuous. Virtuous behavior implies that [you have] pure thoughts and clean actions. … Virtue is … an attribute of godliness.” It “is akin to holiness.”

 The Young Women values are Christlike attributes which include the value of virtue.

We now call upon you to join with us in leading the world in a return to virtue. In order to do so, you “must practise virtue and holiness” by eliminating from your life anything that is evil and inconsistent with one who holds the holy priesthood of God.

“Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and … the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion.”

 So be cautious about what you view in entertainment media or print. Your personal virtue will model for your daughters, and also your sons, what true strength and moral courage are. Your personal purity will give you power.

Another paragraph I liked - which is my responsibility because I am a single mom with no Father in the family:
Fathers, you are the guardians of your homes, your wives, and your children. Today, “it is not an easy thing to protect one’s family against intrusions of evil into [their] minds and spirits. … These influences can and do flow freely into the home. Satan [is very clever]. He need not break down the door.”

As the hymn says, “Rise up, O men of God!” This is a call to you, the men who bear the holy priesthood of God. May it be said of you as was said of Captain Moroni:

“[He] was a strong and a mighty man; … a man of a perfect understanding; … a man who was firm in the faith of Christ. …

“… If all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; … the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.”

Brethren, fathers, young men, “Be loyal to the royal within you.”

5 comments:

Cherie said...

It is so hard. There are many many good kids out there who are not LDS and have not been taught those same standards. Kara seems like one of these kids. She is a great girl, smart, fun, and she was not trying to dress immodestly, in fact, the length of her dress is appropriate, there are no cutouts, etc...sleeveless is very common when you are not LDS.
I have seen some truly "scary" outfits worn by the girls at the High School and Kara is not one of those.
With that said, it is hard because kids really do marry who they date...eventually and they become like those who they hang around with. It is good you talked to Brady and got his take and let him know how important it is to be with those people who choose the same standards that he wants to live in his life.
I think boys have to be modest too. Our boys like to run around without shirts on and Taylor likes to wear his short running shorts when he is not running and we have had to explain to the boys that they also need to be modest.
Great post.

Zoey said...

I loved your post!!! I just had to comment on the no sleeves ...
Modest is not just for you, but for those around you too. With that in mind, I hope that girls realize that boys are different than girls. I've heard it put before that girls are like row boats and boys are like speedboats. It takes a lot to get a girl going, but not much for a boy ...
I hope that parents will help uphold the standard of virtue by their example and frank and honest discussions such as this.

Zoey said...

oops! *Modesty*

Rhonda said...

It is so hard because you are right those dresses are in style and "everyone is wearing them". It is also interesting because all of Autumn's close girlfriends are LDS so they all are in modest and CUTE dresses as well. Her friend Katie had a strapless dress BUT she wore a cute black jacket over it that made the dress modest. We had a fashion show for our YW a few weeks ago about modest dress. Starting with the beehives showing their modest school clothes, Mia Maids showing modest church clothes and then all the Laurels wore modest prom dresses. I am grateful Autumn has no desire to even try on immodest clothes, but wow is it an issue sometimes finding cute modest clothes. I love the saying Modest is hottest. I am proud of you for talking to Brady about this!

Rhonda said...

i also thought Kara's dress was really cute but when Autumn and I looked at the pictures we were thinking it would have been so much cuter with a short black jacket to make it more modest. At lease her length was good.

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