After she left, I needed quiet time. I realize how much I enjoy being alone. I find that I truly enjoy being home and having quiet space. I need it and I thrive in it. While I enjoy seeing friends and visiting for an hour or so, after a week of constant visiting - it wears me out and I want my quiet time again.
Carol loves to talk on the phone. She has been calling me everyday because she is scared for her sister. She talks and talks and talks on the phone. I do not enjoy talking on the phone for hours. I listen and give encouragement and support ... but wish that it was a 10 minute telephone call instead of an hour telephone call - everyday.
When people are constantly talking and talking to me, I don't have time to think. I really do need my quiet time. I like to read, listen to music, scan the Internet or write a blog. I can't do any of these things if people are talking to me.
When I talk to people, I try to be encouraging and supportive. I try to lift them up. I know people like me and I can make friends easily. The problem is.... I enjoy my quiet time. When I make friends - they want to take over "my time" and I become resentful. I don't want to talk on the phone everyday for hours. I don't need to go out to lunch or visit for hours. I have things to do in the short hours I am not working.
My brain hurts from no quiet time. I find that I like it more and more as I get older. I know I could never be married again - as I thrive on being alone and having my own quiet time. I'm getting older and set in my ways of having my own time.
Now, I'm off to think and have quiet time. After a week of visits - I definitely need my "me" time. Maybe I'll blog a little, read a few blogs and listen to quiet beautiful music... Aaaaahhh QUIET! :-D