It can be equally destructive when parents are too permissive and overindulge their children, allowing children to do as they please. Parents need to set limits in accordance with the importance of the matter involved and the child’s disposition and maturity.
Help children understand the reasons for rules, and always follow through with appropriate discipline when rules are broken.
It is important as well to praise appropriate behavior. It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance, but the rewards will be great.
Children who understand their boundaries through the consistent application of important rules are more likely to do well at school, to be more self-controlled, and to be more willing to abide by the laws of the land.
Parents need to give children choices and should be prepared to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real-world situations.
To do this, parents must listen—really listen—to what their children are saying. They must know what is important to each child. I learned this lesson years ago from one of our daughters. She was only four or five at the time. She came into the room, all excited. I was reading the newspaper, and she had something very much on her mind that was important to her. And I was responding, “Yes, uh-huh, uh-huh.” All of a sudden the newspaper came crashing down with her two little hands. She grabbed my face between her hands so that she could look me right in the eye. This was a little four- or five-year-old teaching her father a great lesson. “Daddy, you’re not listening to me.” And she was right.
M. Russell Ballard, “The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood,” Ensign, Mar. 2006, 26
3 comments:
This is so true, but it doesn't make parenting any easier!
AH, HA, I remember this article! It's a good one.
M. Russell Ballard came to our house when I was a samll girl to visit my dad. He had a great car for the time. He showed it to me and how when you opened or shut the door a womans voice would let you know what was going on. Such as...."Your drivers side door is opened." Who knows, maybe I have the story bassackwards, I don't know I was young. But I do remember he was a kind man.
Have a great day.
Sandra
This is a great reminder. I don't have any children yet, but sometimes when I see these teenagers with designer handbags, ipods, and cellphones - I just think they have too much stuff and wonder if I will be able to tell my children "No" when everyone around them has all this "stuff".
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