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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Motivational - Virgin Mary

The girl wiped a tear from her eye and wondered for perhaps the hundredth time that day what his reaction would be. She had known and kept her secret for two weeks now and she could no longer keep it from him. He told her he would be coming to see her today, anytime now, she must compose herself. This weather was certainly no help. It had been hot, very hot, even for April. The spring rains were few and far between; then, when it did rain or sprinkle it became humid, clothes stuck to your body and homes were stifling to be couped up in. Today was really no different except that she had to tell him. She told her mother and father three days before. her remembrance of those first few anxious moments of the revelation caused her to tremble. They had been very understanding, but, then her parents were those that she could always rely upon and trust for support and backing. It had been hot that day,too, but last night it rained and now the atmosphere was a thick, heavy mantle. It certainly didn't help ease the apprehension that was gripping her. The sun was blasting in the cloudless sky with its flames seeming to scorch the plants and dry, brown earth as she watched out the door for her beloved. The girls mind raced over what she had to say and how she should say it. She was in a quandary over whether to blurt it out or lead up to it gradually. Should she be hesitant and shy about it or bold and straight forward?

"I'll wait and see him, then depending on his mood I'll tell him," she thought. "Or perhaps....." There he is, at the corner, she hurried back into the sparsely furnished room and sat down so she wouldn't appear to be too anxious to meet him today.

The young man that rounded the corner on his way to see his girl was lighthearted. The morning had been successful. He received two work orders for his particular skill of carpentry and had fillers out for three more. Now he was to see his girl. They would be married soon and now that he was starting to do well financially, he was looking forward with an eager heart to marriage this young woman who had captured his heart. She is lovely, he thought, what more could a man want than a beautiful, considerate, understanding wife and financial security? His heart quickened as he neared her door, and he thought briefly of the greeting kiss he would receive. There she was .... seated, looking like a beautiful statue carved in pure white marble. She rose to greet him with arms open wide to embrace him. Their greeting tumbled forth words of affection and endearment between two young people whose love and forthcoming marriage seemed made in heaven. Suddenly, without realizing what she was doing, the girl found herself saying, "I have something to tell you, something vitally important to both of us." "What is it, my love?" he asked. "Sit down, here, beside me." They sat, the young woman and the young man, side by side quietly for a long minute in silence. Without raising her eyes from the floor, the girl, her heart pounding an irregular rhythm, slowly said, "I'm going to become a mother." "Of course you are, many times. We are gong to have a large family." "No, no. You don't understand," she said. He won't understand what I must say, she thought - he will be angry.

After a pause to rephrase her statement she continued. "No, I'm going to have a child very soon. I'm pregnant now." The silence that settled over the room was alive with tension and, as yet, unanswered questions. The young man suddenly felt the oppressive heat that poured through surrounding him. Funny, how he hadn't noticed it before, The sweat was running down his forehead in a tickle that caused him to wrinkle the folds of flesh over his eyes and rub the irritating perspiration out of his eyes. His mind raced ahead to future actions to be taken. Fleetingly he asked himself if he should walk through the door and never to return or perhaps he should tenderly put his arms around her and reassure her that everything was all right. The law said that he could publicly ridicule and shame her.

"What happened? How could you let this happen to you?"

She heard and felt the hurt in his voice. What could she say that would sooth this young, dynamic man she loved so much? Trying to put herself in his place, she could easily imagine the shock and indignation of learning of the pregnancy of his fiance. Especially knowing that the child was not his own. Blinking back the tears that threatened to burst forth, the girl answered, "It was special, a dear and holy experience. It didn't just happen. It was a planned wonderful happening. Can you believe that?" The young man's trust in this special young woman had never before been challenged; he had never had cause to distrust her or have angry words with her. Now this - probably the most shameful thing that could happen - had occurred. He experienced a sudden feeling to shame and ire. He involuntarily shuddered and rose to his feet. Her eyes didn't leave his figure as he strode about the room - first to the window- then the door. Her heart seemed to stop, then race ahead as she saw his tall, lean figure pause in the open doorway and look upwards into the cloudless, still sky. His mind was a jumble of ideas and thoughts, crowding each other, each calling to be examined in depth. He was aware that his body was tense. He realized how tired he had become - what a change from the happiness and lightheartedness he had experienced just a few moments before. A rueful smile crept across his face and he bowed his head, gazing at an insect making his painful way through the dust outside the door. What a simple life animals lead he thought. They mate only to create and don't know the agony caused by love! This girl had seemingly betrayed him, she had lead him to believe one thing... with a deep sigh he relaxed. The tension ebbed out of his body and he turned to gaze into the shadows of the room. He blinked his eyes to see in the relative darkness. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, it was difficult ... he somehow couldn't bring himself to say what had been on his lips. He felt he must chastise her. But, for some strange reason, he could not stir himself to anger against her. She must have some explanation, a plausible, explainable reason. His heart went out to her as a feeling of calm descended over him.

She was still sitting quietly composed, in the center of the room. As he looked at her figure, so diminutive, he knew for a certainty the course he must follow. Slowly he crossed the few feet separating them and took her hands in his. When she rose at his bidding, he gently put his arm around this strange, exciting young woman and said, "I think I can understand your feelings. It's strange to me and a little frightening, but, I can understand." The girls eyes misted and smiled as she nodded to herself and said, "Yes, He said you would understand. I love you" Suddenly, his heart soaring, he took her in his arms and, smiling down at her upturned face, asked, "What shall we call him?"

"Jesus...... Jesus .... a name fit for the Gods."
A story from "Especially for Mormons", Volume Three... By Stan and Sharon Miller. I have always loved this story. It has been dear to my heart for about 20 years. As you know, I was a single mother with Jason. I had to have the courage to tell my parents and Jason's father that I was pregnant. It wasn't a joyful experience, as it would have been if I was married. It was a sad, heartbreaking experience for me. I cried a lot (probably an understatement).

When I read this story, I know it is a lot different then mine.. But it really hit my heart in another way -- for Joseph and Mary.

One thing I took from this story was that even though I had made this mistake in my life, my son, Jason would always have a father he could speak to and love. That is Heavenly Father, because although I am Jason mother of his physical body, Heavenly Father is his father of his spiritual body and Jason is just on "loan" to me. I love Heavenly Father and know that he has helped me a lot in my life as I raised Jason as a single mom. I wish I could have been a better mother, I wish Jason didn't have to go through the hard circumstance of having a single mom - which has been more difficult then a mother and father family. It still is a heartbreaking thing in my life and one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through, although he has been a huge blessing to my life. If only you could turn back time and do it the right way.

I have always loved this story and wanted to have it a part of my journal/blog book forever - as it has had a very profound impact in my life. To think about Mary and Joseph as real people... people in love who had their life turned upside down. I know it was a hard life, but a very blessed one - to raise the Son of God.

I am thankful for the Christmas season as my thoughts turn to my Savior, Jesus Christ's birth. I love to ponder on the birth in a stable. Have you ever tried to imagine his birth in a hospital or even a home? It just doesn't seem like that would have been the way it was meant to play out here in our time. Although it was humble circumstances, it's hard to imagine a nativity any other way.

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